Peer Pressure: How to Handle it

Your peers are those who are your age or are at the same education level as you i.e. whoever is at an equal standing with you. So if you are in college 1st year, look around. Your batch-mates with whom you see and interact with everyday, are your peers. And peer pressure is when your class-mates influence/pressurize you in taking important decisions that concern your lifestyle, your behavior and your studies.


The term “peer pressure” usually has a negative connotation to it, but it isn’t always a bad thing. So if your peer group encourages you to take up mountain-hiking or any new sport or join an NGO or any part-time job, then you are in good company! But if the “new things” your friends want to try out might affect your health and studies (smoking, drinking, drugs, drug-trafficking etc), then you have reasons to worry!


Here we will talk about the negative component of peer pressure and how you can handle it. “You” here especially stands for youngsters who are fresh out of school and have stepped into colleges for higher education. (Read: How to make the Most out of College Life: 7 tips) After the protected life that students lead in school, college can be an intimidating experience for most. You will feel extremely conscious of what you do, say, wear to college. The simple task of walking into a classroom filled with students watching you will scare you out of your wits! But some of your new class-mates will come across as more confident and sure than you, about what they’re doing. It is natural for you to assume that what they say & do is right & “cool”. In the long run, you might get pushed into drugs, under-age drinking, hanging out with dubious characters etc. Things might get out of hand and adversely affect your studies and career. Now you don’t want that, do you?


No child is immune to peer pressure, so you are no different. Walt Mueller who wrote the book “Understanding Today's Youth Culture” says: ‘The ugly reality is that peer pressure reaches its greatest intensity at just the age when kids tend to be most insensitive and cruel’.


So before you end up hurting yourself and others, let’s find ways to deal with peer pressure:


1.    Be Confident: This is the best way to shrug off peer pressure. If you are sure of what you are and what you stand for, if you know your rights and wrongs, NO ONE can influence you negatively. If you lack self-esteem and have insecurities about the way you look/talk/dress etc. you are more prone to succumb to peer pressure.(Read: 10 signs of Confidence) So wake up to realise that you are good the way you are! Say, ‘I’m the Best’!

2.    Learn to Say ‘No’: This two letter word is the most difficult one to utter, especially if you are an adolescent. Learn how and when to use the word “No”. If you feel that your friends are asking you to do something that is dangerous or wrong or something that makes you feel uncomfortable, say the word. Do not be harsh, just be firm. You could also provide a healthier alternative idea. So if your friends want to get drunk and go for a late-night drive, suggest for a late-night movie instead. If it doesn’t work, then walk away. Be tough!

3.    Maintain Close Ties with Family: Your family plays the most important role in how you turn out. If you share a close bond with your parents/siblings and can share & confide in them, then half your worries would cease to exist. Teenagers need acceptance, approval and a sense of belonging. If you are getting these from your family, you will be strong enough to withstand peer pressure. Family First!

4.    Pick your Friends Wisely: Surround yourself with positive energy! Pick friends with care; they should influence you to try “new things” that are cool but good for your health. True friends would never force you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable or that harms you. Hang out with the right gang and here will be no scope for negative peer pressure!


However parents and students need to note that peer pressure should not always be blamed for the poor choices students sometimes make. We are humans and we do make mistakes. So look at it as an experience. Everything is a learning process, so your good, not-so-good and even bad experience will teach you a lesson in life, which will be, trust us, PRICELESS. Pressure in a positive direction can do wonders for kids. Peer pressure has many redeeming qualities. “It is the pressure of our peers, after all, that gives us the support to try things we otherwise wouldn't have” says Bill Treasurer, author of “Right Risk”.


Nishatha Abraham